Gen Xr’s Courting Chronicles
It all began as an exercise in Girlfriend Therapy. You see I suffer from the same psychological dysfunction as millions of other women. Oh what’s that you ask? Well it’s what I lovingly refer to as the Jesus Complex- let me die trying to save you. Well I have been meeting men of low caliber so long that I started thinking that’s all there is- so as my loving friends have pointed out, “I date down”. Dating down basically means you date someone who doesn’t match you in any number of ways. Oh at first thought you might be thinking my girls are a little stuck up or maybe are unrealistic.
No let me assure you I am not nor ever have been a person with drug problems, never been one to mismanage my funds, I have been aggressive with my education, I have all the material comforts of modern America and I have a healthy circle of friends- however I have had a reputation and or habit of dating men who have multiple challeneging issues. Usually, they have some sort of addiction problem, they are uneducated, they lack ambition, and they lack social skills and usually love to mistreat humans in general.
Maybe you can and maybe you can’t relate- or maybe you know someone who is like this too. I would meet a man and one day later be in the middle of a relationship. I would be the strong hold the stable part of the relationship- and they would be the distracter from an otherwise normal life.
So a good friend finally had it out with me- she didn’t so much bitch slap me with her hands as she did with her words. Her feelings poured out with a sort of venom that burned off the top layer of my skin—which was exactly what I needed. She was angry with me, said I needed to get my shit checked out and get it straight- because there was no reason I should continue to date people who I know from the get go are not compatible with me or my goals. In essence I need a really good shrinkie dinks help! So I took it to heart. Yeah I bit the bullet, swallowed a big old chunk of my stubborn self sufficient pride and took a big girl pill at the same time.
Well it didn’t happen quickly, I can assure you of that, but eventually I started getting to the bottom of the “why I date to save” question. As you can probably imagine there was an octopus at the core- with one issue and several tentacles. As time went on and I became more aware of tendencies and self talk I started to grow another side to myself. A side with stronger self esteem and higher standards- still I wasn’t dating- I was still jumping right into and out of relationships. That’s when the girlfriend therapy progressed.
After a short period of not seeing anyone and just working on my own personal goals the gal pals suggested- at different times via different methods, but probably for the same reasons- that I consider just dating a bunch of people. SO I could learn how to learn about men without having to be in a relationship with them. At first I backed off from the idea- 1) I am stubborn 2) Just plain tired of men 3) It scared me. Because of number three I decided I had better give it a shot.
SO I created on online profile on a couple of web sites. The profile was honest and extensive. I wanted to make sure that I put my sarcasm, intellect, hobbies, and hopes in. Then I gave the girls access to the online accounts. Yes that’s right. These gal pals would be my guides as to whom to go out with and who not to try. First, make sure you have a great circle of strong women who love you enough to bitch slap you and second be ready to try something new. To follow more on this story and others like it, look for ‘Gen Xr’s Courting Chronicles’.
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